The Salad Caper

The Biggest Loser.

Inspired by my halfway yearly roundup entry, I was pleased to see that almost all our goals for this year have been accomplished. Only my weight-loss goals remain untouched. I have lost 12lbs since we moved houses (and when I really exerted effort to control my eating). But the 12lbs is slowly being gained back.

And this is where I need to have control. My weight will be my biggest accomplishment this year. Not my kids, nor my other accomplishments. My weight loss will be my biggest accomplishment. Why? Because this will be the hardest thing I will do ever.

A little background. I have always been a “big” girl – tall and big-boned. When I was 8years old, I was already 98lbs but since I was tall and “siksik”, people would not call me fat. Even when I was at my “loveliest”, I was 135lbs and stick thin. Here’s proof:

I was 135lbs here

Back then, I had always been a voracious and emotional eater. I have always associated food with every emotion and would eat when Im bored. However, youth was on my side because I was always active (I was dancing) and peer pressure was enough for me to go on yo-yo diets and take diet pills (It was Hawthorne tables before – that was my diet pill).

So there I was, stick thin, sweet treats all day, no rice, no eating after six. I was really unhealthy. But who cares, I still looked good.

I got pregnant, gained 85lbs and they all caught up with me – poor eating habits, slow metabolism, effects of smoking (I smoked during my teen years). I had no control over eating especially since my emotions were see-sawing all the time (I was 19 and had a baby and chose not to get married – how’s that for wreaking havoc into my emotions?! LOL), then all the unhealthy living (red: yo-yo diets) took a toll – even if I exerted effort, my metabolism was just s-l-o-w.

I only managed to get rid of 30lbs from the 85 I gained and it still slowly caught up with me. I got married 5lbs over when I was 9months preggo with my eldest but didnt care. Well, I cared but obviously didnt care enough. Hell, I was confident enough to believe I looked good (and well, kidding aside, I did – because I was radiating with happiness).

Two months after, I got pregnant with my youngest. I gained 30lbs, lost all of it in 3 months because I was breasfeeding – then boom, one year after, the 30lbs slowly crept back.

So where was I? 85+30=115lbs.

That’s how overweight I am, I might as well be carrying twins.

All that has to change.
Im 27. Im young. I believe Im still beautiful.
All I need is to let my beauty shine.
I want to have a lifestyle change.